yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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