so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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