is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
