So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
