I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
