Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
