I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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