i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
