She is in my trunk
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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