Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I need water and some morals
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
