STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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