When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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