i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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