She's JV to your varsity
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
