..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
