hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
home. puking in laundry basket.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
