it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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