I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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