She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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