dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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