Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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