Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
