id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
