What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
