you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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