if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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