I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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