Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
