She said her name was "party"
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He passed out mid-signature
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
