Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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