I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
