just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
