I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Do vagina's smell?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
