Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
