Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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