a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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