if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
