yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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