I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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