guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
