You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
