she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm at about main and main street
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Enjoy the penises
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
