Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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