Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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