He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
