Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
