Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
