Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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