Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
