Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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