where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
porn star boner night. come get it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Enjoy the penises
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
